I did initially, about a month before BD, it was a disaster (I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had kept my mouth shut, would this journey have been shorter/easier? I'll never know).
I laid some boundaries regarding her bringing the computer I built her (to keep her off the kids' computers with this stuff, she was very forgetful about "cleaning up", and shutting down IM) and the webcam into the MBR.
I also told her "not in the house".
But after confronting, she seemed to actually go into "I'll show you mode" (this was prevalent with the "anger stage"). Show she was pretty blatant about the cyber for a good while. I still cringe at the sound of an IM "new message" alert. I had figured that a PA was a probability so when I saw possible evidences, I guess I put myself into a quasi-denial state, lol, or something...but I knew from all my research what this all was, what was driving it from her history, and I knew it had to die a natural death, since confronting and working with IC back in 2009 to get her to stop resulted in a nasty, meaning phase 2 of MLC after a beautiful break...
So, I did a lot of ignoring, overlooking, making allowances. I found the "Be still and know exercise" mediation really helped me get through this, it's used by the VA for PTSD vets, easy to google and free to download.
When the PA came to light, she volunteered it because she brought home a "social present" to share the one time we have had sex since before BD, which was her "testing" sex with me after ending it with PA OM and last EA OM had dumped her (yuck...*sigh*).
And I have seen some evidence she falls back into every now and then it since then, she has admitted she is addicted to it (the cyber) and attention from men, etc. I have said nothing. I get that recovering from an addiction you do stumble sometimes (ex-smoker here). So I let it be. Hers to figure out, I have my own things and agenda right now.
If a new/rekindled PA and/or a big dive back into the cyber, then, at this point, a different story. I trust my gut, and observational abilities, to tell me. So I don't worry about it, too much, lol.
Hope that helps some...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
