It's not really surprising that he's having a benefits check. They would have on their records that you used to be together, and you've just had your check. He should really have expected to get one as well.
It's really hard to stop letting them push buttons - I really feel for you on that one. I've told my H that I would do something then "conveniently forgot" - stick to your guns. You know it could make your R with your mum worse which I'm sure you don't want to do. And paying off his debt is not going to fix his depression, no matter what he thinks.
And that's great news about the advice centre getting you an appointment right away. It doesn't matter what they said two years ago - things have changed considerably since then and they may now be able to help. Have you tried contacting the women's support group again - it's possible that they've been busy and you've slipped through the cracks with them. It might be worth a try.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks