Hope you had a good Sunday." (in your head you can write "You scumsucking, sicko pig!)
I'm going to try and breathe today. I'm going to the gymn, the tire place, a friend's place and then onto the next level of classes in HAVE to sleep tonight.
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
You sound like you have things in perspective. I'm glad. I just didn't want to contribute to you feeling worse than you have to. If that's possible!
Anyway, I know we can all sound a bit like raving lunatics on here when we vent our deepest feelings. I'm so grateful for having a place to let those feelings out when needed.
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
the fact they were charged to a Visa with his name on it, is tangible.
He was in Lord & Taylor @ 9:30 P.M.in Annapolis, where he is residing, this too is tangible.
It doesn't take a neuro surgeon to figure this one out.
Add to that the Viagra packets...
He also kept the receipt. One does this when it is a gift or when one is owed. If it was helping some poor gal out, two chemises, would not be necessary. This is just stupid.
It is pretty evident and IF presented in a court of law, believe me, it would not be just myself raising an eyebrow.
It is almost as if you are gas-lighting here, defending something that is pretty evident.
Now whether call girls accept gifts as payment or if it is an affair is to be determined.
And IF I was to confront that is probably how I would calmly ask him.
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
However...she is still in the house, the replay affair activities appear to be nothing, or next to nothing, she is reconnecting with the kids, the house, everyday life slowly but surely (the LBS appears to be last in line in a lot of cases).
And if she still goes, then at least I provided a sane, safe place for her to get to a better, stable place so she wouldn't (hopefully) do something like hook up with the first predator that came along, since we would be sharing custody of the kids. THAT has been a big concern of mine.
The goal I had that I didn't realize for a long time was getting and improving "me", but that is an ongoing goal...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
You did not hurt...really. And yes, those were feelings and thoughts. I was slapped in the face and I'm not naďve to think he wouldn't do it.
He's always been a flirt. He is horny and wants to f-ck. I know who he is.
He has pulled away from people he has confided in, that too is a sign.
But the receipt , being just a piece of paper...NO! It gives too much information. The photo on his meet up profile. It too tells me information, as well as his "interests". He created it on the 8th of Oct. By the 17TH, he was in Lord & Taylor purchasing those items at 9:30 at night.
He was absent for 10 days of contact with me, it WAS during this time...again...I'm of above average intellect and even someone with lower intellect can add this up.
It is what it is. It svcks and I'm still smarting. Like I said, I'll wait until after January to see where I'm going. I would say standing a year is good enough for me.
I'm not a masochist, and a year is a good enough example to my daughters. He'll just have to deal with the natural consequences of his current behavior.
One of the things he liked about me was that I didn't take his sh!t. That was from a conversation of why he liked me, from when we were dating.
I have to respect myself as well. I do not believe I could keep my self-esteem if I allowed him to play in both camps. I also don't know that if he made a sexual advance that I could act on it. Why? Because I won't know where it has been, was it protected, and would I be subjecting myself to high risk behavior.
This is a very real possibility. Even though I want to be intimate, how damaging would it be if I had to reject his advances ? It would destroy any progress made.
So after the holidays, I'll confront.
If he wants to discuss finances and getting a budget together, I'll agree to that but I'll insist on having my name put back on the joint checking account. This way I too know what money is coming and going and to where.
Right now he is the only one that has access to that knowledge.
Just a thought.
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
