@everyone - I knew this was gonna happen, and I'll be better prepared now the first kinda hard negative has hit. I told W I would not compromise on this boundary at all, but I want to be supportive and patient since she is committing to doing it, and she said she'd show me the text sent to him. Honestly, I'd rather she make the choice to do it on her own - if I pressure her, I believe it'll cause resentment. If she doesn't do it, then she doesn't see me. It's that easy. And I keep reminding myself, she's wearing her rings, going to public places with me, already dismissed the divorce - I'm not going to make excuses for her, but in my mind, these are huge steps.

Oh, this is a pretty big thing to forget, but I totally forgot to mention that we ML as well, initiated by W. I don't know if it was a good idea, but I'm pretty sure W woke up every person on her street if you know what I mean, and she said it's the first time she's had that happen since we last ML back in early August. She even told me later on that there was nothing that would ever come close to our ML - and if ML made up a marriage, we'd have the best marriage on the planet. At least it was nice to hear. smile I'm not going to let it happen again until some of the emotions even out a little.

W even said it's weird why it's so hard to cut off all communication because it wasn't that hard to tell him "H and I are going to work on our marriage, so we can't hang out anymore, not even as friends". She told me that even if I signed a dissolution tomorrow, she already told OM she wouldn't marry him, date him, or be in a relationship more than friends - ever.

If I can engage in some mind-reading, knowing W's history, I think that severing the connection with him is not "losing a romance". She specifically said she doesn't love him and never has, but cares for him like a family member - and she made a point to say that she has never cared for him like she loves me.

I believe it's a symbol of letting go of the "new life" she thought she was going to start, and firmly facing the reality of the hard work she's going to have to do on herself, and we're going to have to do on our marriage. She has never really dealt with her depression, abuse from previous marriage, etc, and she has told me many times the past week she is "really messed up" - and that is not something that is easy for her to admit.

Right now, I don't know. I'm just trying to slow down and be patient. I believe God has gifted us a miracle to have a chance to restore a new relationship and marriage, and I'm not going to mess it up, so I keep repeating "patience" over and over in my head.

OK, I'm ready to get back on the DB train, so please bring out the 2x4s, next steps.
1. We are not communicating at all today.
2. W has readily agreed to counseling, so I suggested we go next week as I'm starting a new project this week.
3. She told me it would be awesome to go for a nice dinner this coming Saturday for our anniversary. Thoughts on that?