Rolling up my sleeves...

[JFun51]

I refuse to engage her in argument. W has continued to try to find ways to push my buttons and I have tried to be supportive and avoid any temptations to defend myself. When she directly asked me about "flipping a switch" I explained a bit.

I have a hard time detaching. If she is so important that I am willing to give up 2-3 years of my life to this roller coaster of crap, then how can I detach from the need to see her get better?

I want her to not be lost and hurt. In the meantime, as she navigates this journey, I have taken care of the family.

I like myself better right now than I did 6-8 months ago. I have really examined my everyday outlook and my interactions with coworkers, family, everyone. I tend to be a nicer, more caring person. The most important thing is that I have really gotten better with my children. My kids now run to me and hug me on a regular basis like they did when they were little. They also know that if they ask me to do something with them, generally, I will drop whatever it is and spend time with them. (Both asked for me to play with them yesterday as W was gone for over 6 hours on a shopping trip with MIL.) I also find that they are looking more and more to me for things that W used to provide. Homework help, signing permission slips, report cards, make lunch, etc. I like this guy. He makes me happy.