He needs to focus on his journey to figure things out. There's nothing you can do to change his journey and if you do attempt to do so, his journey will take longer. If you attempt to "snap him out of it", he may return for a while and appear normal, but eventually he will go back into crisis and it will be worse the second time around.
This is exactly what happened with my W. IC and I "got" her to stop with OM1 from 2009-2010, all seemed better until March 2011, something wasn't right. Sept 2011 BD...the nasty, venom BD...and so phase 2 ensued. Very, very much worse.
Personally, I would sit on it. Unless the finances are that bad, let it play out some more. See what he does. When I finally had proof of what I suspected, it was devastating at first. But it gets easier. I focused on the big picture, MY end goal, which was reconciliation. I re-framed it to look at it as if this was a new R, the new person would have been with others before at my age (I hope, lol), so this affair behavior/replay crap is "before our new R"...and even before we got M originally, we both had been with others, and that didn't affect our new R and M together.
That's what worked for me, hope you find something in there that is useful...
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
