Great day with S10 as we had together time at church carnival while W and S12 had their own time. Then we all went to a cookout. Good good, lots of friends and kids. Played football, danced a little. W had a great time and seemed to be the life if the party as others wanted her to dance more. Fun for everyone.
I have always seen MLC as an attack on one's character, not their personality.
It is kind of like when a person loses one of their senses (sight, hearing, speech) , the other senses are enhanced greatly.
It is highly unusual to have a MLCer NOT be the life of a party.
Make no mistake though, it is a mask that is hiding the pain deep within....
Originally Posted By: JF
Then crap. W initiates conversation when we get home about what we should say to S12 about what's going on. Asks me if I've talked to him. Under the guise of a "friendly" conversation about the welfare if our children I get spurts if venom again.
"I don't know what flipped your switch this week, but you went from wanting to kick me out to being friendly". I resisted the opportunity to remind her that OM called last Friday and she confessed to continuing to talk to him after lying that she had stopped.
That "guise" was her looking for a button to push on you...
Recognize it for what it was, and keep an eye out for it to happen again in the future.
She pushes the button, you dance, and she can go off on how you HAVEN'T changed. Same ol JF....
Do you really want to be that guy ???
Originally Posted By: JF
"I'm not sure how much S12 has heard, but you're loud when you say things to me. I'm sure when you said I had a boyfriend he heard that. Thanks for that, by the way." That statement was made on BD night as the world I knew it was falling on top if me. She's been holding onto that one since that night to use against me.
It IS unfortunate that your Son has had to hear this....
Although, it is NOT your fault that she has a boyfriend, nor is it your responsibility to protect her affair. Your job is to protect your Sons.
Let her own her actions as far as the affair is concerned.
Originally Posted By: JF
I calmly tried to explain that the difference in my behavior was due to the fact that it took me a few days to process new information and that I've been working hard to look at myself. I said "when you say I flipped a switch..,". She immediately denied saying that. She just made that exact statement 5 minutes earlier. I was quoting her. She was spitting so much venom she didn't even remember what she said. Unbelievable.
And you are talking.........why ?
Explaining anything.......why ???
Originally Posted By: JF
I resisted every temptation to defend and be drawn into a fight. 3 different times she says that she doesn't want to fight, but...
But.....
But you failed ???
Which led to this \/ \/ \/ \/
Originally Posted By: result of JF's BUT
Great day ruined again. I believe she is incapable of allowing anything positive to happen. I had a great time today around friends and being with my kids. W and I got along gone during it all and she seemed to have fun. I caught her watching me playing football a couple times. I also caught her watching me dance.
Does her fog make her afraid of progress? Is she so mixed up and lost that chaos us more comfortable? Is it everything in general, or is it just seeing me be positive that envokes venom?
This stinks. I can't even have fun with my kids and other friends without W destroying it afterwards.
Stop it....
Ruined ??
Destroyed ???
Only because YOU allowed that to happen....
Stop spinning around what SHE wants...
Find your own path to YOUR happiness.
Originally Posted By: JF
W is awful interested in my activities for some reason. I expect a full round of crap tonight again. As I got up this morning to take family dog out, I came back in to find that she had been through my text messages. She laid there in the bed so innocently as I walked back into the bedroom and asked me about how cold it was outside. I chose not to confront her or ask anything. I truly have nothing to hide except for this forum.
Standard script for the MLCer
Something is different about you, something is not the way they think it should be....
Take it for what it is, and take a step forward for yourself today....
Stop living in the fear, that one conversation, or one interaction is either the end, or the new beginning of anything.
Nothing hinges on one moment....
Live YOUR life for today...
She has a long way to go in the slow cooker.
Then again, so do you....
And let me leave you with this thought....
You said that you don't know if you can last a couple years...
Yes ???
First off, throw away the timeline, it will not serve you well....
Secondly...
Would you give up a couple years of your life, to have a chance at 50 year anniversary with this Woman ???
