Planet, you're right. You can't compel anyone to do anything.

I'd like you to respond to that long post I wrote without mentioning your XW. Tell me how you are going to proactively thrive in this situation.

It is possible.

Also you didn't answer this completely: Has your W ever put your kids in danger or done something inappropriate with them? You allowed her to make these decisions on her own before, why suddenly do you have to know about it? Is it because you're concerned about their welfare or you want to fight with W?

Answering these questions about motivations are where growth happens but you have to dig deep to get there and you can't blame others.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss