Questions on the 37 rules and other advice...

[S4tk]

Still looking for any input on my 180s but allo have a question. Since returning from OS, we have been staying (all 4 of us) with my parents. Unfortunately, they have taken sides emotionally (my side). My mom is finding it especially difficult to treat W warmly.

W is currently away for two weeks back OS tying up loose ends with our move. Our D and S kind of see my parents' place as their home in America. We do own a home about an hour from parents, but we rent it out and our D and S don't remember it anyway.

W has said she wants to be close to my parents - she is much closer to them than to her own. She has, throughout this time, called me a great dad, a good man, a good friend, etc. etc. She simply says she is done with the marriage.

I know we are not supposed to bring up R talks, but we do need to figure out more permanent housing. I feel that this is important for the kids, as well as for my and W's PMA.

When I brought it up a few weeks ago, she asked, "[my name], what are we going to do?" She has asked this a few times since BD. The two close friends with whom I confide about this crisis seem to think this is positive - they think since she is asking me questions, she still sees me as the protector of our family and she still feels comfortable with my decisions. I am not sure about this interpretation.

Anyhow, my desire would be that the four of us find a place and then I continue to avoid R talks. If she wants to bring up S again, she can and then she will have to "do the heavy lifting" of leaving. But should I simply declare this desire to W (we all find a place together) and go with W looking for a place? How should I initiate and handle this conversation with her?

T