Fog City Coaster continues

[2ndtimearoundCA]

Thanks for stopping by 25!

I know that me financially pulling my weight is at least part of what my w means by being taken care of. My w is not capable of not working; she would go crazy. She may have a fantasy of having someone make enough money so that she doesn't have to work, but she would work. Also, she has always needed a lot of attention. She would not do well with somebody who worked a lot of hours and had little time for her. So there has to be balance.\

True


Right now, I could support us both and she could look for an easier job, but we are not together. I think that there is more to the being taken care of thing than the financial side.

of course there is. Did you read my post to you? It's pretty broad and fairly in depth.

Yes. Thank you. I could work on being more assertive and planning things for us to do as a couple. But doesn't this have to wait until we are in a relationship again? Maybe I could have given her a little more princess treatment when she was having a hard day at work. I would investigate noises, kill spiders, fix things around the house. Admittedly I did have trouble keeping up with her in doing my share of going above and beyond with taking care of the house or the yard. When I was out of work I did all the house work but I could have done more. I would spend my day looking for work and doing house work. I did get a little burnt out and instead of having dinner ready when she got home I would just say let's go out some times. I will address my work situation below

I am a 6 foot tall athletic type guy but I could probably do a better job of taking charge and being assertive.

SHE TOLD YOU she wants to be taken care of. As I asked before, what do YOU think she means?
i think she means that she doesn't want to be needed as a bread winner. I think she wants to have her needs and desires come first. I need to hear her hints of things she wants and make them happen.

And did I read correctly that you THINK but don't "know" that she is having an affair? Why do you believe that?

I am not sure I would call it an affair at this point. I believe that she is being sexually active. The only reason I even brought it up was to make a point to another DBer here. Then someone else caught on and I was explaining it to him.

More importantly, why would she?

She said she would be sexually active. Based on on her past, I believe that to be true. This is something that I can get past if we were to reconcile. But I think that her being involved with other men keeps her away from me at times. Maybe some mind reading here


I have met new people as part of my GAL. Not sure if w even knows. We don't have common friends and we are not Facebook friends. Any other ideas on being mysterious?

Does NOT matter if she knows. It's not about her. It's about YOU living YOUR LIFE WELL.

Any positive changes that result, will radiate from you whether or not she hears of them.

If you are GAL for her to notice, you are not GAL. You are manipulating and hoping the "tactic" works.

That's NOT true change in your life. Make sense?

Point taken. Thank you... I have your next post to respond to below