new start for me

[kelela]

Well this is a new month and I will have to start doing things differently now I need to start a new path. I made my 1St step I had made a new visitation for H to have The boys he is now only allowed to get The boys on the days he is off from his work and I will have them majority of The time. I don't want to have OW watching my boys when she is intoxicated. And he agrees with me on that; H also told me that there were couple of times that he almost came home and he is still trying to work things out with in himself and he still doesn't want to give me false hope cause he is still figuing things out. He said that there are things he likes about OW and there things he likes about me. I told him I understand and he needs to work things out for himself as I'm working things out for myself. And maybe one day we will be able to find our way back to each other if not its going to be hard but I will be ok.

[MileHigh]

K, you sound very brave and confident. Your response to H was just about perfect, DB-wise. Keep up the good work!

[Mimi00]

You sound good K. Continue to keep that positive focus on you and the boys.

[Not Quitting]

I agree with the others. You do sound positive. Keep up the good work.

[kelela]

I need some in put. Since The holidays are coming up I was thinking on not attending either one at my MIL house due to the fact that H will be there; at this time I do not want to be around H at all. The holidays are ment to spending time with your love ones and family but I will spend time with my boys here at home and I will take my boys to their grandmas to spend time with The family I just don't feel like being there this year. Is this wrong for Me to feel this way?

[Mimi00]

Its totally up to you. As long as your H is free to spend time a w/ the boys over the holidays. You can start your own new traditions with the boys and when they aren't with you maybe you could have some other fun plans...or volunteer somewhere to help others. I don't think anything is wrong that.

[Not Quitting]

I agree with Mimi. Start your own new traditions with your boys. Make sure the boys have some time with your H, and his family if he wishes, but don't feel obliged to take part in that yourself.

The holidays are going to be tough, but you've come this far and you can get through this next little hurdle.

[JayMan]

I would agree. With XW1, I remember carving pumpkins, and going to a pumpkin patch, and Christmas hide/seek, and fishing and camping and lots of fun stuff while XW1 was busy mooning over her OM.

I have tons of pictures over 2-3 years where W has almost none. Make your OWN memories!

[kelela]

Thank you I will just do that. I know for sure I really can't spend time at MIL house on Thanksgiving due to working in retail we are opening up on Thanksgiving night at 8pm. I heard that everyone will be working long hours not sure how long so I will definitely need to get a really goods day sleep in just in case. And for Christmas I don't know what I'm going to do I still have a little over a month to come up with a plan for myself. But I will let my boys spend both holidays' with H and his family.

[kelela]

Just venting tonight; I'm not doing so good tonight I know I still have a very long way to go and it may never happen I just don't know if I can hold on anymore.