I learned to play the drums when my ex left - now I'm a 57 year old chick drummer in a pop-punk cover band and I wouldn't take mt ex back for all the tea in China.
If it's any consolation, 4 years later, I am dating a (tall, dark, handsome) man who treats me like a princess You may look back and realize you got the best part of this deal.
I was thinking of you today and was so glad that you've posted on your recent development in all this madness. I'm so happy for you that you're able to see gratitude in all this from all your achievements to your little blessings.
In your list of what you don't want in a man, I wanted to include... You want a man who is willing to reflect on his mistakes, take responsibility for his part and wants to continue working on being a better human being for his daughters, his partner and everyone that surrounds him and loves him.
I'm also so happy to know that you've kept up with your Al Anon. It has also helped me so much. Two days ago I called a member because my triggers were getting the best of me. She said, keep up with your God box, continue with your gratitude list, pray/meditate before getting out of bed, journal your thoughts, AND daily think of 2 things you can thank ExH for. You may have to pray to your higher power to help you with this given the present circumstances but it will help with the resentment. (at least it's helped me)
I'm thinking of you!
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
A bunch of us were hanging out around the water cooler, so to speak and my 45 year old boss was joking that 22 yr new kid asked if he could be in his band. The 22yr old needed a bass player thought my 45yr old boss would totally be able to rock out with them.
My boss jokely went on and on about how his wife would murder him if he joined a band. That he has 3 young kids and works 70 hrs a week and if he decided to take another 3 hrs a week away from the family for band practice - she would murder him.
What was so strange to me was that one of my XH reasons for leaving was that I didnt allow him enough time for his hobbies, like mountain biking. We had a D3 and D1 at the time. Once I found this program I didnt tell him again how insane that thinking was.
To me I feel like his crazy thinking is now flashing in neon "Crazy" while my side of the street is clean as whistle because I didnt react.
When I orginally reacted to his crazy talk it was harder to see who the crazy one was.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
I've been reading your thread since you replied to mine a while ago, and I just want to tell you how impressed I am about how you managed your situation. I know you did not get what you thought was the 'desired' outcome, but it sounds like now when you look back on it all you just may have gotten the better end of the deal.
Keep your head up and be the great model you are for your children. Thank goodness they have you for a mom.
Even though I don't know you, here's a big hug!! (((((()))))
I look forward to updates.
Me 59 H47 M12 T22 No kids BD&S Apr 2,2013 - ILYBINILWY Filed 2/12/14 OW 11/13 The Universe always strikes you at your weakest point because that’s what most needs strengthening." – Joseph Campbell
and I wouldn't take mt ex back for all the tea in China.