@planet - this is time to focus on the kids. In 2006, XW1 separated and went through at least three guys in probably 6 months before finally moving in with a guy - she threw his stuff out on the lawn about 4 months later.
I finally quit trying with her, and focused on (at the time) D6 and S3, now D13 and S11. The more I focused on them, and completely left XW1 out of it, the better things got. I didn't save my marriage, but I saved my kids, and I saved me - and XW1 got a lot of counseling and is now becoming a decent person/parent.
More currently, my W had moved out, and S5 has become a hellion because I am not there to discipline him and lay boundaries. Before, I could say one thing to him and he would instantly obey - now, he kicks and screams and throws fits, and W has no idea what to do. In a year or two, he'll be uncontrollable. She even asked if maybe I could keep him a couple days a week while we figure things out...
