PATIENCE PROMISCUITY AND PROFIDIOUSNESS

[MrBond]

"The reason I said maybe is, prior to him leaving he started leaving his shoes in the middle of walkways, and where I could trip on them. Looking back it seemed intentional, considering the agreement we had abut leaving things about.

So no mindreading here, just realizing."

Had to chuckle at this. It is mindreading. And besides, did you actually ask him about this? If not, then you're mindreading. Maybe he just got lazy. Doesn't mean that he was "intentionally" trying to hurt you. If I were passive aggressive, I could think of doing alot worse things than leaving my shoes out.

"Really, okay so it may be a prostitute? Call girls go shopping with johns instead of taking cash?"

I wasn't sure if you were being serious about this quote or being sarcastic. Can't tell from the rest of the mindreading.

"Mr. Bond, anxiety is not a choice, stress is not a choice."

Yes it is. It is self-inflicted. If you started detaching (as is DB 101) you wouldn't be affecting yourself like this.

"And as for the receipt I know my husband enough to know that the purchase was not for a friend, not for a buddy, not for me, my kids or my in laws. So either an affair or a prostitute. No need for Viagra in his bag either, unless trying to sustain an erection. He has NO heart condition!"

So you need to decide if you want to save the M or not. He sees himself as "separated" from you and that means (to him) he can do as he chooses. And to be frank, he is free to do what he wants to just as much as you do.

"And the point of this is? I've been pretty open and honest on here and with my husband about our mistakes that WE made."

But right now it's not the mistakes that the two of you have done that you can control. You can only correct YOUR mistakes.

"And yes, I have worked my ass off, and I am venting, and sobbing and mourning...OKAY?"

Venting, sobbing and mourning are perfectly fine. HOWEVER, your posts are showing that you're actually poisoning your mind with thoughts that YOU created. They may or may not be true, but right now they are being generated by yourself with no proof.

"I believe you aren't completely up to speed on what I have written."

I am. I just decided to step in because your thought process was escalating in a direction that I felt wasn't going to help your sitch at all.

"He has expressed his guilt to me, on several occasions. I may be mind reading as to the possibility of him feeling guilty about him and another woman, but I seriously doubt it."

More mindreading. And in any event, if it was the worst case scenario that he had an OW, then you need to decide if you can forgive this or not. This also includes not bringing it up after you two reconcile.

"If he wasn't guilty , there would be no reason to hide this from me, or at this point not be honest. This comes from a relationship of over 33 years."

Mindreading. You don't even know if he was "hiding" anything.

"He doesn't want me to hate him, that too was expressed. He doesn't want his daughters to hate him."

Of course not, because he left.

"He is not a sociopath, charming , yes. Not that devious."

You are the one presenting him as a sociopath. Not us.

"I am not planning on confronting him until I have control over my emotions. At present I am all over the place, and I have to see him again in the next 24 hours."

Not only do you have to have control over your emotions. You need to have control over your thoughts.

"Part of why I don't want to confront him is that it "seemed" as if the past three days were good. We connected. Of all the people who wishes I didn't come across this it is I."

Then increase those positive interactions with him.