wife hardens heart-5

[planet]

We agreed on a sum and that was it. Legally it should be child support. Then again I didn't specifically read the word alimony in the agreement.

Angry at who? XW? I am frustrated and upset over her decisions and actions lately. Yes I am hurting.
Can you imagine speaking to someone over your concerns and the only thing that comes out are blames, snide remarks, guilt tripping, past history and very little on the subject on hand?

It was one of my earliest 180 that I wanted to do. Be an involved and loving father. I have no hidden agenda. I'm not doing this to win back XW. I realized that kids needs their fathers love and XW didn't seem to acknowledge that. Ages 5-8 is very critical years in character building that involves fatherly guidance.
It is very difficult for me not to be there in my house to protect my kids and XW. I don't know if moving away is the right thing to do anymore. It may have helped push XW into OM's arms. That guy is a step up and is good to my kids. There is no reason to look to me anymore.

I have always requested things in a calm and polite manner. She immediately jumps into a fit.
Ex.
Me: I got something to talk to you.
XW: I got nothing to say to you.
Me: It's about D3.
XW: (keeps quiet and looked the other way)
Me: Can you let me know if D3 is sick...
XW: (cuts me off) for what? You wanted me to wait for you so you could drive D3 to the hospital. You just wanted me to report to you.
Me: that's not what I meant.
XW: you didn't care when D4 had high fever. (That's this ONE time that I feel she could have called me but instead texted me that I got angry. I wasn't very alert with my mobile and I don't take it everywhere while I worked)
....went on blaming my family for hurting her.

Can you imagine the frustrations when speaking to her. She jumps into conclusion and immediately blames and guilt trip. Nothing related to the subject on hand. I only wanted to be kept in the loop on my kids health issues. The above is one of many requests I put out that results in the same thing over and over.

The only thing that I wanted to talk to her about is of the kids and nothing else. She continually to harp on every single thing that I did wrong but refuses to acknowledge the many times I did right.

I have stated my mission statement to her. I told her I'm doing things to improve myself and it's for myself. I have repeated this many times when she questioned my changes. There is one time she said why I didn't do this for her. I replied I only require a chance but you are not willing to give it and walked away.

You see? She's trying very hard to convince herself I'm a bad father and husband. Not all the times are bad and I have certainly did many things right. I have stop blaming everything on myself over the failure of my marriage.
This maybe mind reading but every clue points to the fact that she's justifying her decision to be with OM.
She is in a romantic relationship with OM. I have accepted that. The emails. The lowered tone on the phone when I'm around. His always around on weekends. My kids calling OM daddy and she's having no problem with that. He does grocery for her. Having lunch and dinner together at home. I saw her fiddling his bowl of noddles tonight. He does her presentations for her. He carries her things for her. Normally we would do those things together. She's not looking back because OM did everything she wanted.
She don't need me at all...financially, emotionally and basically everything else. He's what XW wanted in a man.
Probably she's acting the way she does right now is to justify that.