"H. is not passive aggressive. Or maybe he has become that...I don't know at this point."
He's not and hasn't acted that way towards you. THAT you worked out in your own head. Mindreading on your part.
"I can deal with a prostitute, don't ask me why. But an affair is different."
Mindreading about the A.
"The irony, he felt his daughters just saw him as a paycheck. The woman for which he bought over 300.00 of clothes, she is thinking that he has money. And he did that to gain. Wow, the compartmentalization and justification astounds me."
Mindreading.
"Something inside me has died. He is very needy right now, and I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I want to at this point."
How about stop doing what doesn't work, and in your case it's making up scenarios in your head.
"I don't feel sexual about him at present. With the stress this has caused, the stress of school, the stress of what I have to do around him, the stress of trying to function, I am slowly being eaten away."
That's YOUR choice. You are causing the stress to yourself.
"Sorry if I can't just snap back. This is over 33 years I've given to this man. I have been forgiving in the past. I have discussed and shared how I felt about ugly behavior before, and then let it go."
You also were responsible for what happened 50% of the time.
"I never threw it in his face. I took him at his word. That is gone. How does someone ever trust again?"
You're totally mindreading on things that may or may not have happened.
"He is being so " nice " because he feels guilty about his dual life. He knows this is wrong. He does have a choice. He is not under the influence of heavy drugs, or alcohol, he is not an addict. He is an adult and has chosen to do this.""
This is mindreading especially. You don't "know" your H. Assumptions are what have killed MANY relationships. Stop saying you "know" him. After all, you never "knew" he was going to leave you. Stick to actual facts and not what fantasies you are coming up with on your own.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
