Ambivalent, You own only 50% of what may have transpired in your marriage and nothing more. Your h has a lot of issues within himself that he needs to figure out. He would ignore his pain w/other things versus facing his issues and working on them. Your h is a grown adult who could have said no many times to the people he has had in his life, i.e., op, but he didn't. You aren't the one that strayed from your marriage, nor did you move out...he did.
Own only what you may have contributed...nothing more. Had he been a mature man w/good coping skills, he would have advised you he was unhappy and wanted to work on the issues...but instead, he finds something else to take his mind off his issues. He sounds like a conflict avoider. Is he passive aggressive as well?
Even though Annapolis is free, he still has a lengthy commute. That has to be quite a bit of a drive for him, especially during rush hour. He's really not saving that much when you think of traffic, time, gas and the wear and tear on his vehicle...but hey...rent is free and he'll justify it w/that.
You are stronger than you think and you will recover...but first, you must work through your anger and your pain. Yes, you took your vows seriously, you've done your best and tried to be a good wife...again, he's got some serious issues within himself that were created when he was young. He's searching for that illusive happiness that he thinks he'll find around every corner and it's only a façade and will fade in time. Happiness comes from within and I think your h is truly missing something within his very soul. He may never find it...but it's not your job to make him happy...he has to do that for himself.
Take some time for yourself. Pamper yourself, don't be so hard on yourself. Tuesday will be here before you know it and hopefully you'll get some answers to help you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
