Nervous about tomorrow's visitation with the kids. Don't know how to dissuade him from taking the kids in the car (his preferred verbal use of suicide avenue). It's his first alone visit outside of the home.
Plus he's very angry with me because he missed his time with the kids due to work and wasn't happy we weren't available at hs beck and call to rearrange. I need to discuss this with him. Any advice?
M32 H37 DD1 6 DD2 5 M6 T10 EA 31.08.13 Separated and H moved out 19.09.13 ILYBINILWY 23.09.13 OW 11.13
They get angry when things don't go exactly as they planned in their fogged out brains. They then have to rethink it, like a grown up, and they don't like it. Do you need to discuss it? He had to work and you guys have lives. This is the stuff that happens.
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
He's been suicidal for about 3 years. His method of choice has always been to die at the hands of his car. It's been a long time since I let him take the kids in the car and the more I think about it the more it terrifies me.
He's due to take them out today for the first time alone and outside of my house.
I guess I'll have to just roll with the punches and see how it goes. Boundaries needed!
M32 H37 DD1 6 DD2 5 M6 T10 EA 31.08.13 Separated and H moved out 19.09.13 ILYBINILWY 23.09.13 OW 11.13
So today wasn't so bad. He cried openly in a public area for 1.5 hours, admitted he's not taking his meds, forgot a few lies he'd told but agreed not to drive with the kids and admitted he had been angry with me....all progress.
He said a bit more MLC stript:
I've changed and if I could change back I would but I can't I don't know if how I feel now is a lie or how I felt before is.
I felt physically and emotionally drained after meeting up with his but boundaries have been set. I must now stick to them.
M32 H37 DD1 6 DD2 5 M6 T10 EA 31.08.13 Separated and H moved out 19.09.13 ILYBINILWY 23.09.13 OW 11.13
I'm sorry to hear that he's not taking his meds. Sounds like he had a very emotional time of it today. I'm sure it was draining for you too.
Keep your boundaries in place, do not waiver from them. If you give them an inch, they'll take a mile when it comes to boundaries.
I hope you feel better tomorrow. This stuff is very stressful on the lbs too.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yeah just uncovered more lies about his business......
I'm not sure if I'm detaching or that I just don't love him or want to be with him anymore.
How can someone have the clarity to intentionally hide money from their children but not enough clarity to not cry in an open arena in front of these children.
Off to bed to sleep on this new bomb.......
M32 H37 DD1 6 DD2 5 M6 T10 EA 31.08.13 Separated and H moved out 19.09.13 ILYBINILWY 23.09.13 OW 11.13
Oh my....no wonder you're so nervous about him taking the kids. That would freak me out too.
I hope he gets back on his meds at least.
Sleep tight.
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
Ok things feel like they are going from bad to worse.....I'm starting to feel like either I'm losing my mind or he has bipolar/borderline personality disorder. Could this be the case? What if its not a MLC, what if it is just a breakdown?
This feels like a never ending situation and I feel under qualified and overwhelmed right now.
He's not taking his meds and the two people around him are encouraging more and more outrageous behaviour to "make you feel better". They know he's depressed but think it will just pass.
I've told him I'm here if he needs to chat but for my own mental health, and that of my children, I'm going to walk away and hope he gets the help he needs. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
M32 H37 DD1 6 DD2 5 M6 T10 EA 31.08.13 Separated and H moved out 19.09.13 ILYBINILWY 23.09.13 OW 11.13
CC, All you can do is extend the hand of friendship. Your h is going to have to figure things out on his own. My mlcing friend was a lot like your h, i.e., not taking his meds and suffering from mlc. He showed signs of a personality disorder too.
I know you are worried, but he's a big boy and hopefully he'll hit bottom and realize he needs his meds.
Keep your focus on you and your children.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Lost the plot today and did some snooping. Found numerous messages to young girls and evidence that he's trying to hide business deals. Plus evidence that he was lying on at least two occasions about not being able to afford to come and see the kids.
Should I confront him on his lies? I'm not sure i can sit back and continue to be lied to.
Is this really a marriage I want to save? Surely there are better ways to live than hoping that this man will ever wake up.
Can we really put all this behaviour down to having a MLC?
M32 H37 DD1 6 DD2 5 M6 T10 EA 31.08.13 Separated and H moved out 19.09.13 ILYBINILWY 23.09.13 OW 11.13
