You sound like someone that has been hurt deeply and rightly so. However, I would continue to db and be the better person here.
You know what mlc is all about and you also know that they can be very confused and yet compartmentalize their lives, especially the men. Until you get some answers, we can't sit here and "assume" anything. Assuming can cause all sorts of stinking thinking.
Where does this put you in dbing...that's for you to decide. Do you want to try to save your marriage? If so, continue w/the principles and love him unconditionally from afar. Be kind to him and you need to understand that he's going to do what he needs to do to find his inner self no matter what it takes. Keep in mind, all the dbing in the world can't guarantee that your h will want to return home and reconcile. Some don't. But, dbing is for you and to help save yourself and yes, the communication skills do work wonders if you have faith in the system.
My advice is pick yourself up off the floor and dust yourself off. Be the best you can be and whatever you do, hold your head up high for you've done nothing wrong...this is all about him and him only.
To be perfectly honest w/you, I think your h is very confused and is testing the waters in several ponds and until he's decided what he wants, he's not going to file...but if you push and continue to push, he'll file just to get you off his back.
Whatever you do, don't lash out and retaliate against him because of this. You want to be the rational, calm adult in this situation. You need to keep your emotions in check. Cry, scream, vent when he's gone. Come here to vent. We know how you feel and know exactly what you are going through. It's not a sprint, but a marathon when you are dealing w/mlc.
You don't want to be a bitter person...because it will make you miserable. Feel the pain, allow it to wash over you and then release it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
