I talked to her. I told her I need to know the classes she's signing them on. More info. I said I wanted to visit the place, she goes defensive as if she wants nobody to find out about me. She goes on being argumentative. Saying things that I dont care about my girls in the past, didn't want to talk about issues in the past, blames my family and I wanted to control her.
I say I'm only interested in the girl's affairs. Nothing else. Trouble talking to her. So frustrating.
I signed them up? She said I can go ahead to sign up classes for my kids. She said she didn't care.
On another more important note. D4 avoids me once again like a plague. She cries and cries, its I'm this stranger. I tried to talk to her but she just refuses. I am in great danger in losing D4. Please help. It can't go on like these
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
I had the bus ride with D3 and brought her back. It was fun.
I talked to W a bit. I told her D4 behaving this way for quite some time now. She insisted it was after I punished her by leaving her at home. D4 didn't give any reason to W. I just just don't know now. W just didnt want to cooperate. It's my problem she say. She find D4 behaving normally. She is real b***h.
Can't even talk about the kids.
Is D4 playing me?
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
Can't deal with XW now. Don't know it's even worth it. She's became this thing hell bent on revenge, wanting to hurt more than wanting to heal. It's almost physcotic.
She sees that I'm hurting over D4. Probably relises it. No. She thinks I deserved it.
Kept on saying the 10 years of hurt I gave her. I told her my regrets and would change things in the past if I could. Apologize too.
What the hell she wants? Why even bring up other things when it is only about the kids. I have already shut the hell up on her EA. Whatever I saw, I didn't even tell her family.
I only want to be with my kids. I want to be in their life as much as possible. Not too much to ask. D4 only came running to me and gave me a half hearted hug when I leave. It's already 2 weeks of such treatment.
I seriously don't think being tough on her will work now.
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
Nobody can possibly read the mind of your 4 year old daughter and tell you what she is thinking. Lucky for you, I CAN read the mind of your 4 year old daughter and tell you what she needs:
YOU.
Her unwavering and ever-pursuing father who will ALWAYS do EVERYTHING in his power to ensure she is lovingly raised in security and peace. A beacon of safety and goodness and kindness and strength and patience and love, ALWAYS shining bright for her to see and run to whenever she feels the need.
Be Dad. She'll come around.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
There is a period between 5-8 years old, where it's the best time to nurture a child with fatherly love. D4 is going to be 5 soon. Hate to miss that.
With my current situation, it looks difficult. I'm not giving up. I need to find out what's bothering her. Maybe I should lay off the pressure.
D4 is very clingy to her mom. Did her mom indirectly influenced her that she feels the need to protect her mom? I'm not the bad guy. D4 didn't say she hates me. I'm too desperate for an answer.
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
I attended a seminar on parenting plus I bought a book titled 'Be a Better Dad Today' at the event. Ages 5-8 is especially critical in shaping the kids character.
The priority now is sweet D4. I feel helpless. I tried to drag her to the car but it made her withdraw even more as if she is scared of me or something. I will keep on trying.
I just want to leave XW aside for now. No point talking to a crazy woman right now. Sniping at everything I do. She doesn't want me to be involved in our kids life, just associates money with not caring. WTH.
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
About the classes, are they recreational classes (sorry I only read a couple of pages back)or is this a preschool? Are you paying for any of it? I saw you said W asked you to pay half-I don't know what your financial agreement is.
Were you involved in these types of things before? If not, it may take your W time to get over the incredulity of you wanting to be so involved now.
The staring thing, you're right, it's childish. Turn away and go about your business. You only control you, your W can do whatever she wants but you should be able to control you in those moments.
About D4, she's hurting and the reason doesn't matter, show her your love in nonthreatening was that she is comfortable with. Dragging her to the car wouldn't be one of those.
Accept where you are in this and make the best of it. There is no winning here.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
