Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

Not sure my previous response went through. I have another question though. If my wife thought my love was smothering wouldnt my 180 be to back off for a bit and give her more space? In the last two weeks I texted her about covering our pool. She agreed and said she would do it within a couple days. Didnt talk to her for three days she called but I didnt answer as I was out with friends during that afternoon. I did text her back 3 hours later and asked what she needed though. I think she wanted me to help her but since I am not living there and she is against me moving back home I made sure did not give in. If she says my love was not romantic should I give a "thinking of you" card or something like that? She is keenly aware of my love for her because she tells me about my feelings and how she hasnt done alot for herself because of my feelings for her. I dont know what that means. If we lacked communication and didnt always have "great conversation" would my 180 be to try and have talks with her about nothing in particular? When I try and do this though texts or phone calls most of the time I get the standard one word responses. When she iniates a call or text it seems like it is because she needs something. This isnt always the case some times she calls up about random things and it is appearant she wants to talk so I will try to keep it short. When she does open up about something other than the M that is bothering her. I listen intently and empathize with her and tell her if she needs anything in regards to it I am there for her. Am I doing this correctly considering we need to better communicate? How can I get her to open up more about our M? When I ask her to do something watch a game or movie go out to dinner she always says thanks but I have plans or not right now but maybe in the future. It is very frustrating because through MC I have recognized where I have shortcomings when it comes to my M. I want to correct them but I am confused because I am not sure if I am DB ing correctly or if it is hampering my chances. The last I want to hear from my wife is "if you would have done this you would have showed me that you cared for me and you meant everything you were saying but because you didnt I figured you didnt love me any more". It does seem like she is sending mixed signals. I try and not let it affect me but I would be lying if I said it didnt. I try not to believe anything she says but when in the same breath she says " it is hard not to have feelings after all these years but it is too late and maybe in a few years if we are meant to be we will get back together but for now we have to get past the D. I just wish you would have said something about babies sooner". Or " maybe I need to talk to somebody" when I then bring up IC or MC she backs off. I told her I didnt think we have done everything possible to give our M the best shot at being better than before. She feels like she has. Which is her right to feel that way. One last thing for now. She says she has put herself in my shoes and cant imagine what it must be like. I told her it is tough but I accept the way she feels at the moment but I am 100 percent committed to our M and I will be just fine no matter how it turns out. I then explained to her that I also have put myself in her shoes and didnt like how it felt thereby validating her feelings. She comes back with " You couldnt possibly be doing that because if you were you would be falling apart right now." This just two weeks ago. Then she said have we talked enough for now? I said yes and told her I would finish watching the game then leave while she got her dinner ready upstairs. She said that made her uncomfortable. I asked why and she said because she thought I planned on staying there and moving back in right then. I said no but I would like to move back sooner rather than later. This upset her. Did I screw up the R talk we just had by telling her this? Please any thoughts will be appreciated.