"You're My Best Friend"

[reachingHigher]

Thanks Forever Young, I always appreciate your perspective.

And, yes, he is trying very hard to improve. I think I can look at it as me supporting him, but not the drinking. And I know we all make mistakes at times.

Our younger son turned 14 this week and my parents sent him a book. When he opened the wrapping paper I was stunned to see the title, Forever Young! I'm sure my face must've registered shock! It's a biography of an astronaut. Thought that was kinda neat.

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I wanted to journal about last night, as I can't talk about the details with my H.

We went to the monthly event in the city. It was at a beautiful marina and there were probably 50 people there, most of whom H knew, and a small group that were his regular drinking partners when he was out in replay.

He left me right away to get us some wine and left me with his female colleague who told me the woes about her H. Sigh.

But the evening went very well, overall.

I met some new people and H always introduced me as his W, rH. I know how to get along at a party....just don't talk about myself and ask other people about their interests so it went smoothly.

There were three interesting encounters I wanted to share.

First, was there is this pretty girl who still has me blocked on FB. She came up to say hello and hugged me and all, with H there. We were all talking together and she mentioned that last time she and H (the two of us, she said) came to the marina, thus and thus happened. So she wanted to be sure and let me know they were together. How interesting....yawn.

Secondly, a most interesting encounter, which, fortunately I was expecting. The girl I am almost sure H had an EA with was there. She came up to us, and H said, K_____, this is my W, rH.. This girl looked at me from head to toe. 'Course i am almost a foot taller than she. She had a most interesting expression on her face.

She had the most beautiful hair and a wine glass that said sexy lady in big letters. Of course the guys around us commented on her glass and she moved her hips in a sexy, seductive way and said I'm feelin' it tonight. and looked directly at H. Then she gave me that funny look again.

H told me the details of when she tried to snag him and I feel confident he was telling the truth. H told me later he caught her examining me again visually from head to toe when I wasn't looking. And I had that kind of "someone's looking at me" feeling from her often. I found this quite entertaining.

Thirdly, cookout girl really was very curt with us when she saw us. Then as soon as H wasn't with me she was talking to him. I came up to the two of them, and you could tell that she would've been happier if I didn't show up! She obviously is somewhat socially inept. She also tried to insert a private joke between the two of them, that was a twist on what I had just said. I asked H about it later and he said he didn't know what she was talking about. I remember this from her before. She wanted me to know they share things I don't know about.

At one point during the party, a girl came around and said "time for pictures". Just H's drinking group seemed to disappear and his female work colleague followed. I decided that if H didn't invite me I wasn't gonna "tag along". So I stayed in the main group in the club.

Seconds later a man showed up that I had spoken to at the cookout last summer and also last event I went to. He works for the same Federal Agency that H works for and we get along very well. H was gone a long time so I talked to him a long time. Later H says, I saw you talked to so-and-so guy a long time.. I said, yes, he feels comfortable around me.

I found this interesting b/c there is obviously a shortage of guys at this event and a surplus of girls. So H was constantly talking to girls.

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After this H and his two main drinking buddies and I went to an arts district in the city and went to a live jazz band outside a restaurant with beautiful artsy heaters to keep us warm.

I can tell the two buddies accept me very well. They were super comfortable around me. It was crowded so H asked me to sit on his lap the whole time, which I did!

While we were in the car, H asked me if I was interested in driving the fall foliage tour in our state and staying overnight in a hotel tonight, then coming back Sunday. I said, that sounds great! He seemed a bit timid to ask.

He drank very little, relatively, and talked with his friends about his new resolve to not drink as much, and how he would accomplish that.

So....I think the night was a resounding success.

Sorry such a long post, but I think that journaling the events with these girls here, is better than going over them with H, lol!

I felt confident and good. I've dropped a couple pounds, am at a good weight for me, and dropped 1% body fat from my workouts.

I could tell I had an identity of my own, not just H's W when one of the ladies heard i went to this event alone last month without H.

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Oh one more musing....when H and I were talking to cookout girl's brother, he mentioned that when he first met H, thus-and-thus was happening in H's life. This had to be summer of 2011, and this man said "over two years ago" so I knew I was right. This threw me a bit b/c it didn't fit in with my MLC timeline. I couldn't figure out how or why or when he would've met this man at that time.

Again, I think there is so much more going on during replay and MLC then we realize. I can't say anything about it to H. It's history.

It's so weird being with these people that I saw pics of H with on FB, heard stories, imagined things, etc. Now I am right there.

It's the MC's dream come true for us. My H has integrated his two lives. I just have to tell you it is so hard for me to act happy and normal. His R's with these people caused me so much pain! Yet, here I am reconciled with him. And he is doing the right thing by keeping these friendships and including me. Such a weird place to be.

But he still had his arm around me while at the party. Very affectionate. Although I would say he was much more so after we left the main group.

When I knew I had arrived with acceptance with second drinking buddy, was when we were driving him back to his car. He was in the back seat and I turned an oldies station on the radio. He started singing the lyrics loudly from the back seat and he had very little alcohol to drink. So then the three of us were all singing a James Taylor song together. I thought it was a nice way to end the evening