ya gotta wonder. the whole Money &^ hanging onto it thing. i like your insights about money. i've often wondered how in the world 'THINGS" can replace people. i'd be dead in the water if i didn't have & grow up with my sister 10 months younger. she died in 2008 - i notice the loss, but am sooooooo grateful i grew up sure i was happy- sure we all were happy & loved. (never thought about the "reality" of it- and not going to now) - just the product of someone to share my life every single minute - with i think. hence (i guess) my own "addiction" to love & someone - maybe... being the "answer" in life to being happy.
you're making me wonder about my h (grew up ALONE)(but there was ?$$ around - if not people). everyone's h that are somewhat more tangled up in control & money (well, one coming from the other I GUESS).
my h is very generous to me- tho, he could just give me the darn half of this house he owns - (since he's currently got three paid for (inhereted) houses of his own) and be "done with it" and done with me. he doesn't. i truly think he thinks marriage means someone will or could take yourmoney & stuff . that is all...
sometimes i wonder why no amount of money is ever "enough" - or so it seems anyway. as kids we never had any money - it didn't seem to matter too much overall. i thought we were all happy- i am not ever rethinking that (some sisters & their own "take") i personally had a a greeat childhood surrounded by family.
i hate it now that everyone has fallen away & it's a wierd wierd family dynamic we have going on. ANYWAY THO_- UR's h and $$, my own and $$ , i've always wondered if it's ONLY a means of control & being big man on campus. that money really does give status in this society. i like your moderating view a bit-
buying love kind of thing - or seeking security/love thru it. THO - somettimes i honestly can tap into the whole fun & lift it can give you to be the guy with the money giving a gift or treat to someone who hasn't got some (kids for instance). it's a funny thing- and a gratifying thing- being the one with the ability to GIVE & help & make someone happy with something they want.
idk- it is there in my values tho- as you say, something to count on. what if the car dies??? what if you NEED something- it stinks but we all dooooo need some money - kind of thing. there was never any extra when i was a kid- it's definitely SECOND to love in my life tho in what i THINK IS CRUCIAL - (but it's definitely important). YA THInk it's survival instinct? the stockpile money thing?
we sure get screwed up as kids - don't we. well, as adults too.
my h definitely had self centered parents- allllll about them. snodderly asked once if he could have never "felt heard" by them- DEFINITELY AND DEFINITELY AGAIN. idk- it's soooooo hard to make some kind of 'DECISION' about a person and them being in your life when you begin to try and UNDERSTAND and be even-handed. there are always soooooo many bunny trtails to go down that get you off the main road.
me- lost down the bunny trail forever it feels like. this being understanding stuff can totaly almost "disable"ya in life from EVER making big fat decisions that impact your life & others - SOOOOOOO ALWAYS HELD UP BY THE ' - being fair to everyone thing, etc.
oh well- anyway- i think you're on to s omething- the things we make our "GODS" HUH? i guess EVERYONE (not just me) is insecure about some things and uses something to try and feel better/good about it. or control it - life, whatever...
