Part of the problem with just being roommates for me is I feel my H already felt that way before BD. So I feel like I either need to fully pull away or do the opposite, which is where I get confused. I remember him saying 'we can just continue to be roommates and co-parent like we have been' shortly after BD.
Pud,
You always seem to have some sort of excuse as to why something won't work...
Yes your H already felt like roommates before BD. They all do. For them, the M is already at least half baked, if not ready to come out of the oven.
They don't just wake up one day and decide to spring things on us. They have been thinking about this. Working on it in their own way (which usually doesn't include any sort of direct conversation with us).
Thinking of him as a roommate is a way for you to take the focus off of him and your M, which right now, is all you can do.
Originally Posted By: Pud
I'm sorry to hear you had breast cancer, thank you for sharing that part of your life with me.
Thank you for saying that. Although it is something I hate hearing.
Two separate incidences with breast cancer. Cervical cancer. A family history of alcoholism so prevalant that the smell of a beer makes me want to vomit. I could go on. I have always said I could write a movie of the week or two. LOL. All of which is discussed in my threads and posts.
I am not a victim of any of it. I am stronger because of all of it.
Look, I know this sukcs. I get that. If you choose not to learn about it, you are doing yourself and your H a disservice.
If you keep making excuses based on the past, based on your H's reactions or possible reactions, it is only going to hurt you in the long run.
You use a lot of buts...
I hate buts. They negate whatever came before them.
Keep working and digging.
Something we haven't really touched on and I think it is time...
What do you think you need to change about you in order for you to be happier, kinder, more attractive?
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
