Ambivalent, your issues parallel my wife's in many ways. So I'm impressed that you still decided to work on it and that you would like to connect with your husband somehow.
It's all theoretical to speculate how I would have behaved if my wife were like you because I feel I can resolve almost anything with someone willing to talk. I have tried so many times to talk to my wife about all these issues, but she feels unsafe just talking about them, let alone doing anything. We get along well in every other area by talking.
What you say about pressure is still tricky though. I can't really pretend I'm not interested in sex. But at this point, I know nothing is going to happen, so the pressure isn't immediate anymore. I don't ask for anything, and I've told her if she wants anything to happen, then she needs to take the lead. But she still feels guilty not taking the lead, I suppose.
