Here's why...what helped me move past this anger part, which took a terrible toll on me physically (nothing like having a toilet bowl full of blood from a bleeding ulcer to get one to re-think things), was to just "try" understanding, looking at it from her POV, from her life experience. For example, my W was sexually abused as a child and young teenager by her dad, and he then abandoned her and the rest of the kids emotionally until 2 years or so before he died (which triggered W's mlc rumblings I believe)...well, how does that affect a girls development? I had a great childhood, so I had no idea. She was horridly shy and a wall flower as a teen and young adult, I was her 2nd "real" relationship...I had a very, very well mis-spent youth, so I had worked through a lot of stuff by the time we got m.
Point is, I want to try to maybe help you get some understanding. I need to understand everything, it's my engineering nature. Doesn't mean you have to change anything, forgive, have compassion, etc. Those are all your choices to do, or not do.
I would rather make those choices with understanding, so I knew for me I made the right choice.
There is a cause for every effect, right? We are living in the effect (mlc), I would want to know the cause, or likely causes/theories.
I just brought this over from THX's thread.
You really are an exceptional man T2. I hope you know that. And, I liked what you had to say about the egocentric stuff. I know I'm guilty of acting like the moral majority myself. You are a great example of patience, understanding and unconditional love. You're wife is a lucky woman, whether she is able to appreciate it or not right now.
Good Stuff. Thanks for the insight.
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
