New to the board, fairly newly LBS from MLC.

[tigerlily78]

I started a post last night and lost power and can't remember if I ever did manage to rewrite that post. So, just in case there isn't a post sitting in moderation. I want to thank you again Cadet for all the great resources. I have lots of reading to do.

Today seemed good. I have been trying to give WS a wide berth and space. Today he asked if I wanted to lay down and have a nap with him (neither of us is sleeping well). I laid down first and he made the move to come into bed to spoon me. While we were dozing off he had one of his seizures he sometimes has (it's like a brain reboot, not grand mal with tremors), but still he had something of a flinch coming out of it that woke us both up. He said he was sorry for waking me, that he had a seizure. I said it was fine, it's not like he can control having a seizure. Then he followed that up by kissing me on the back and saying, "I'm sorry for everything."

That really took me by surprise. Since I wasn't prepared for it I took the good advice of the boards and said nothing. I just put his hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. Then we had a nice long nap together.

Afternoon was good too. I was giving space again and had errands to run. He initiated contact again this afternoon after I got back from my jog. He is impressed that I am now running (well, mostly running, I power walk the hilly sections). Apparently OW was flaking out a little on meeting up with him for their plans tonight. He was lingering around the kitchen and told me, "She is totally being a dumbledore today." This is one of our family jokes and I just smiled and shook my head. I didn't want to weigh in with any judgment on the matter.

I see he is taking steps to be here more and I am trying to manage my expectations and keep playing it cool. There has been no follow up conversation about telling our son yet. I am hoping this is an indication WS is not so sure he wants that on his permanent record as a father. I'm hopeful at the moment, but still very mindful of sticking to the protocols. I want to keep this momentum going.