Who is this woman & what has she done with my wife

[THX-1138]

Thanks to everyone who has written in today. I am touched by the passion of your responses, and promise to do a better job of focusing on myself. I definitely need to spend more time on me, and less time thinking about what W is doing.

I was in shock when I found out about this thing, but I have been getting a little bit better each day. Sort of buried it until this morning, when I decided to pull my anger out of the box, have a look at it, and really turn it loose in here. In the safety of this place.

Those who have followed this thread may have noticed I tend to work things out through writing about my feelings. This is helpful and cathartic for me. I learn a lot about how I actually feel by writing, and then editing, and writing again.

AJ, please don't take my responses personally. I appreciate your help greatly and agree with most of what you say. By the way, I am an architect - not an engineer. Though I did take two years of mechanical engineering prior to switching majors. Thermodynamics was the convincer. Entropy calculations? Are you kidding me?

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So. Let's talk about me for a while. I am having a hard time with the GAL and the PMA lately. You see, I am now taking care of a big old house all by myself. I have the two teenagers, a huge dog (sheds and needs walkies), a cat, and all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work etc. I do the work on the cars too. I also run my own business from home. Not a lot of time to take on new hobbies and to stay fit - especially whilst on anti-anxiety drugs and going to see a shrink in my spare time.

My teens are doing fewer chores now because they are only here half the time, and because I am letting them get away with less. I am letting them off because this has been hard on them too. But it makes more work for me.

So I am swamped. The house is a wreck, laundry is piled up, dishes are dirty, and I am worn out. Gotta make appointments with school counselors, orthodontists, a chest exam for S16 (possible surgery), optometrists (both kids), pay bills for work and home, plus meet with lawyers and work out a divorce strategy and proposal. Plus Thanksgiving and Christmas shopping/travel etc.

W and I used to split all this. Now there is more of it, and I do it alone. I know this situation is pretty common in here, and that we are all carrying more than our share.

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I see that I am over 100 responses. I'll start a new thread next post and link it back here.