"You're My Best Friend"

[reachingHigher]

I'm not my H so I don't really know what's in his heart. But from the way he acts, and occasional things he says, I feel this song when he thinks of me:

You're the best friend
that I ever had
I've been with you such a long time
You're my sunshine
And I want you to know
That my feelings are true
I really love you
You're my best friend

I've been wandering round
But I still come back to you
In rain or shine
You've stood by me girl
I'm happy, happy at home
You're my best friend.

You're the first one
When things turn out bad
You know I'll never be lonely
You're my only one
And I love
The things that you do
You're my best friend

I'm happy, happy at home
You're my best friend

And a double thought on You're My Best Friend is for me. I've been reading on these threads and thinking a lot. I have a hard time not thinking about things H has done during MLC. There are plenty of questions I'd like to ask: How far did you go with cookout girl?, for example.

And sometimes I just think negative things. It's not like the opposite sex in a M is totally understandable as it is! And then add 5 years MLC! So hard to understand sometimes.

So my current goal is...when I start to think negative thoughts about my H, I'm going to replace them with thoughts in the vein of "You're my best friend". We aren't enemies in a war. We are partners, parents, lovers, friends and confidants. He is really my best friend. I need to treat him that way!

I decided to stay on Midlife Crisis for one more thread.
Besides, there are so many interesting discussions going on right now!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I did talk to H last night before bed. We haven't been seeing the MC as we used so much C this year that it would be better to wait for the next calendar year, due to insurance.

I know H & I have issues to discuss from time to time and I want to be able to talk them out if we can.

I started the convo by saying, H, if I have an issue to discuss with you, how would you like me to bring it up?

This approach worked really well. We talked about the state of our R lately. He is very sensitive about Saturday night.

I was so glad I read the posts here (GALb's about tough love really stuck in my mind) beforehand.

After some discussion about how he acted Saturday night and how I felt hurt by some of it, he said, I wasn't there. (mentally) It was your responsibility.

So, instead of reacting, or being defensive, or blaming, I was able to continue cuddling with him and said, what does that mean to you? How do you see that as my responsibility?

I didn't really know he thought that. We discussed ways for me to handle the situation if it comes up again. He doesn't ever want to be that drunk again. And he hardly drank any this week.

That is so interesting, to me, that he would place the responsibility for him, onto me, as if I was his mother! The very thing in MLC he detested!

But tonight, we will be going to an group event with many of his friends. About half I have met and several girls I have not met.

We won't have been together in a large group such as that since the cookout this summer at cookout girl's house. H & I have continued to mature in our M and R and it will be interesting to see how he acts!