When my H brought it up, all I could think was "Wow, we will never get past this" and then, I didn't want to try because I couldn't come up with a reason to. I don't blame her for resenting it. It's either in the past or it isn't.
Yup ^^^. One time, the LAST time, I had a reaction that squarely brought her A's up, my W said the above almost verbatim. I have worked really hard through and past it, because I want her to continue trying. And I really can't re-do/un-do the past, can I?
What works for me is this framework: We both had been with others before we were M, and that FACT did not affect our relationship, because the past was past, we were on our own new journey together, so those past lovers meant nothing, right?
Reconciliation is a whole NEW M, the past is called the past because it has passed!
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
