Renewing...

[2ndtimearoundCA]

Ok so I am gonna take out a couple of 2x4s... Just because I love you Jon

First @NTX, Jon actually declared he was done at least 4 times with such conviction that I actually believed him the first 2. This last time when Jon said "too little too late" and everyone brought out the 2x4s ... I thought to myself "no way" Jon is not done.

Now Jon, you reframe the situation to say that actually you really are done with A B and C... And that is what you meant. I don't think you are being dishonest, but I don't think that you are looking closely enough at yourself.

Jon, realize that emotional volatility is a huge issue for you. Because you weren't being dishonest when you said you were done, and you meant that you were completely done at the time. This last time when Bond came out and defended you he had some good points ... if it weren't for all the previous times you were done, I would have been right there with him.

Next 2x4 ...

The reason your w is saying she is back is not necessarily because of good DBing.. I am not vet here and I am not really qualified to say what good DBing is, but I would say that based on what others talk about doing and what I read, you have done an average (at best) job of DBing (I am no better btw).

Example: You would validate, but then add some stream of logic or other stuff that would undo all the validation.

I think that your w "wants in" right now for a combination of reasons. I don't know if I buy what NTX said above about the possibility that OM ended it.

I think that a you are actually a bit of a natural at creating attraction using kind of a push/pull dynamic.. in and of itself I don't personally think creating attraction like that is a bad thing.. (I wish I could attract my w) But the things that happened in your sitch that created the push/pull are not a healthy way to sustain attraction in a relationship. Also, if I am right, the relationship won't sustain itself at all in the long run.

I think you have a great opportunity here Jon, but I think you and your w should get counseling (individually and together) ASAP

Good luck Jon!!