NTX - I was done with W waffling, and I was ready to go on alone - but that didn't mean I didn't still love her. I still am done honestly. I am happy with the way things seem to have turned around but the entire burden of proof is on W at this point, and she has to make this concrete before we can begin to look at the issues that led to this marriage.
I actually just told her that I have enjoyed talking, and I'm glad that we at least seem to be pointing the same direction, but no other conversations or contact would happen until the OM had been cut off completely, I could see her phone records, and she would show me where she had blocked him from texting, Facebook, and so on. I said that's basically the starting point, but I would need additional time to ensure that this wasn't just another yo-yo, maybe several weeks or more. I said I'm guilty of it as well so I want to make sure I'm not going to contribute to ongoing issues.
That's my starting point: if she we stay completely engaged and focused on creating a new relationship for several weeks, and we can agree on counseling.
The thing that worries me is that I believe W WANTS to change, but I don't think she can do the hard work to actually make it happen. Kind of like when you're fat and you know you need to go the gym, but instead you decide to eat a little more ice cream... Sigh.
