Who is this woman & what has she done with my wife

[AJM]

I've read on the board that MLCer's are hurting, depressed, acting out, etc. But I am not convinced that W didn't ask for this. She is not merely an innocent bystander unable to control herself. Plenty of people have handled mid-life crises without having affairs, and leaving their children, their homes, and their spouses.

There's a difference between asking for the MLC and responsibility for one's actions. MLC in no way excuses somebody's choices. Not trying to say it does.

I'm trying to point out that all that doesn't really matter compared to what she's going through. At least from her perspective.

You are justifiably furious. I don't take that away from you nor do I mean to infer otherwise.

But just like her, your choices are your choices. Your choice to hurt her (back) or to take a different approach, are your choices.

You mentioned that if your W had slept with somebody older it would have been ok with you (or at least more tolerable). Really? I call BS. You won't know for sure, but I call BS in this case. It hurts regardless. Not more nor less.

But I am kinda curious why her sleeping with a guy half her age is something you would consider more painful than if it was somebody older? What if it had been a woman half her age? How about a guy 20 years older?

Is there something there I'm missing? Help me understand your thoughts.

Peace,
AJ