The Four Phases of SSM Recovery

[sbrass]

Lucky you, young at heart. I've tried it all, ALL, and got nowhere. And if I stay, as I plan to, I have to find some way to accept living in a sex-less or very, VERY low-say marriage. At our last session with our therapist, my wife said clearly that she has no desire for me, that she has no desire to seek for desire. That she has no desire to look elsewhere (she came out to me and to herself in May as a lesbian). That she's happy to offer me hugs, cuddles and kisses. But that she is basically asexual. Time of life, post-menopause, and just no desire. I've been on a pretty desperate search here and elsewhere on the Web. We've both been going to a really good therapist, but she is now stopping, since there seems to be no point. We share many things, have a good life in every department but sex, and we are there united in mourning what neither of us have experienced: the joy of a total giving and receiving in physical love, in sex. I am just the wrong sex for her! But we've decided that we have more to gain than to lose by staying together. We have looked at the options of separation/divorce/an open marriage. Not all stories end happily ever after, and our seems to be one of them.