I love that quote uR. It took me awhile to understand and appreciate the relationship between shame and fear. I feel I see it in layers and every time i let go of some fear i feel a release of the shame as well.
Bug, I am so happy for you. Have you spoken to your boys about it yet or do you feel its still too early?
I like what you said:
When I say slow down, it's slow down and listen, realize that I don't know what he's thinking. I need to ask more questions, reflect more and never assume.
I think this is true for any relationship we are in. We do tend to assume SO MUCH. It really is quite amazing how much we can get in the way of ourselves with our assumptions.
No, we haven't told the boys. I think we're getting close to that point tho. It's fun to have this "secret" tho.
About assumptions and mind-reading, etc, I've noticed many times how different my reactions are to things that before I would have been resentful or b!tchy about. Our communication is more honest, expectations are few.
And more is revealed every time we're together.
Patience.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
