It hasn't been the greatest the whole time. My wife and I come from two different back grounds. I grew up very poor and she grew up with everything. My W works during the day and comes home to a dinner cooked or in the process, plays with the girls, eats and goes to bed with them. I myself have always worked overnights so our girls won't have to go to daycare. I have them from morning till night. They go to work with me at the barn. I work overnight at my other job which is thurs-Sun nights. So I'm tired and don't sleep as it is from going so much. I try and stay up till the afternoon with them till the girls are ready for a nap.
When we had our first daughter my W went into complete mommy mode which I do understand. But it never did stop. We didn't have time for us at all. Then she allowed our daughter to sleep in the bed. I didn't agree with it at all. I get if she is has bad dreams and etc. so I started sleeping with my dog on the couch. Yes I did say something back then and I did say we need to go out or something for us. By the time we finally got our oldest out of the bed we had our youngest. She was able to breast feed this one. So once again the baby ended up in the bed. Now they are other sleeping with her. Besides all that. I rarely got an help with the house chores, she would cook something once awhile. Basically I did everything.
Sex life..our sex life has always been great. Till mommy mode. I would try and get turned down. I get the kids, I do. But if and when we would it was planned and it exciting anymore. Felt like a chore. I started it feeling that spark during it. That has never happened.
We been married for 6 yrs and I've spent more then 3 yrs on the couch. I guess I've just been that unhappy. I know I was wrong and I should have sat her down and talked about everything. I wasn't looking for an affair. I have always been faithful to my W and family. It didn't matter to me how I felt. The affair happened. I connected with someone new. Like my minister told me along with close friends the OW filled a void and it made me happy. I agree at the time yes but that hole only seemed to get offer cause it wasn't my W filling it.
Now I have spent the last 2 nights at home with them. My W has asked to watch movies upstairs in the bed with her. Yes our little one is there sleeping and later the big one comes in. It's been nice to sleep in the bed with her. We have cuddled to sleep also. I'm taking this has a good sign of healing? Of us working on saving this and moving forward? I know trust will take a lot of time. But I don't know how to take this. Good sign or bad?
