I'm not having a good morning I so wish that I didn't check my FB page this morning. H had posted a pic of my boys and also had posted a pic of OW and her son attached to the post he posted with my boys. (I did not go to his page it got posted on my site cause we are friends on FB.) This is the first time o seen a pic of her and this hurt much. Now I know its completely over there is no way H will come back now.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
kelela - Sounds like we are having a similar morning! I am so sorry. My crappy day yesterday started by looking on FB. I did it to myself looking at H's page because he had told me he was going to post a picture of the boys. I looked to see if he posted it and there was a comment from OW (and her stupid picture). My day went downhill from there. Stupid decision on my part. I just hate that I cant look at pictures of my own kids (my H is a professional photographer so he always gets the better pictures). If you are interested, there is a way to prevent your H's posts from appearing on your site. You can still remain friends and see his posts if you go to his page, but it just stops them from showing in your new feed.
I need to take this advice to heart but figured that writing it out to you may help myself. You don't know that H is never going to come back. I know that it feels that way now. But you never know whether things may change. Heck, if you asked any of us three years ago whether we would be on this website trying to save our marriage, none of us would have ever believed it. If things changed for the worse over a period of time, it does not mean that things cant change for the better over a period of time. We are both relatively new on this journey. It is so very hard. Please know that there are other people in your shoes walking the same journey. Know that you will get to a place of happiness on day and you will look back on this journey and be proud of what you have accomplished, regardless of where your H may be.
K, 3bm is right about hiding your H's news feeds from your FB page. I've done it to mine. If you don't want to unfriend him, then just change the settings on his name to "don't show in news feed".
You don't know yet that it's over. My H has said he's not coming back, but over the last few weeks I'm seeing signs that he's changed his mind on that.
As hard as it may be, you need to maintain your PMA for those boys of yours and for yourself. Don't let one photo ruin your PMA for you.
Stay strong, you're not alone .
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
He didnt want his friends or any one know that he had left his family for somone else on FB because everyone is on FB. And now he had posted her pic on his page. And he had told me that he doesn't want to post any of our personal details on FB and he just went ahead and did what he said he wouldn't do.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
My H did the same thing. He has changed his profile picture 3 times to different ones of him and OW, but he hadn't told any of our mutual FB friends about our separation. I had a few PMs from some of them asking what was going on - obviously I told them the truth when I replied. Our son didn't know that his dad had a "new friend" eitheruntil he started asking questions about the FB profile pictures.
Try not to let it get you down K. Go onto FB and either defriend him or change that setting so that you can't see the posts. Let him deal with any fallout himself.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
I know how hard it is kelela. They hold a double standard. My H wants no one to know about his A. But he wants people to know that we are separated. It is a completely selfish double standard. You cant control his actions, but you can control yours.
I know that it is impossible and it seems like he is kicking you while you are already down. But we should not be surprised that our H's are acting in this manner. Heck - they are already having an affair. But they have justified it in their minds and they don't even understand that they are doing anything wrong.
