How to convince resistant LD wife?

[Ambivalent]

I really can't answer that. For it was tied to the relationship. We were both clueless as to why I felt the lack of libido.
Your behavior would cause me stress, because it would be perceived as pressure. The low hanging cloud. I would know what you want, because you have said you could have it everyday. It would be a constant reminder that I'm not feeling randy, and don't know why?

For me, I was afraid of getting pregnant, in my younger days. I could not relax. I was afraid . Also , when we first made love, he released in my mouth, and that scared the heck out of me. I didn't know what to do, and was traumatized from it.

Like I said, many issues. I was young , inexperienced, thought some acts were wrong. Didn't know men masturbated, took offense to it. Also I had a body , that when younger, boys and men leered at. Wanted to touch my rear all the time. I thought guys were just interested in sex for themselves. Not as an intimate, emotional , loving act.

Talking about it , I felt so many emotions, but had no clue. Embarrassing.

My husband used a prostitute, and I discovered the email. It absolutely crushed me. He justified it by saying he wouldn't have an affair, because it would destroy our relationship, friendship.

It happened at the worst most stressful time in our marriage. High needs daughter, selling house of fifteen years, his job being downsized. It crushed me.

I still will have to deal with those feelings eventually. This is a very complex issue.

That is why I don't think it is as simple as just libido, for a woman it is tied into her feelings, and whether she feels safe. If it has not been comfortable, or you may have no clue as to her perceptions of things. She has held back, for fear of damaging your ego, masculinity, or friendship, or that you want to please her and she can't be pleased. It would be better to avoid the situation, because it is a constant reminder to her that she cannot "perform". She loses no matter what.