"You mean they'll have to go along with what i decide for them?
Like Meal A, Fun Place B, Fun Time C ?"

Of course! YOU are the adult. If you give a child the choice as to what they want to eat, they will eat the same thing over and over again. It's YOUR job to introduce them to life and new experiences that they don't know about. All children will usually say "no" to a new experience without even trying. Yet when they are put into the situation where they have to try, oftentimes they end up liking it.

"How to even parent effectively when i don't even stay with them anymore?"

You see them 50% of the time right? Fill the time you have with them with QUALITY experiences. I'm not talking about homework, putting them to bed, feeding them, etc. I mean take them to try something new on your own.

"I want to instill my values but i'm facing resistance from MIL and W."

Who cares about what they think? You're not teaching them bad values. You're just giving them new experiences. You have just as much of a say as to how your kids are raised as your W and certainly way more of a right than your MIL. Start growing a pair of b@ll$ and be the best father ever.

"My D4 is staying away from me. Don't you think it hurts?"

Of course it does. But you're letting that hurt define who you are. You're becoming passive and depressed because of it. You can just as easily turn that around.

"I've done everything i can. Hugs. Tell her 'I Love You's more. Talk to her."

Do those things AND start doing new things with her. Do things that your W wouldn't. And it's none of your W's business what you do on YOUR time with them.

"I help her with her school work but now she only wants her mom."

Don't let it stop you. You were an absent father before. You're not that anymore. Learn how to actually raise children rather than having them raise you.

"I'd take her out but now she's crying for her mom."

Don't let that stop you. If you do then she will always cry for mom and not look to you for anything in life. Is that what you want? Do you want to lose your children's respect?

"She have no problem with me leaving every night anymore."

Stop the pity party. What are you going to do about it?

M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER