I love that quote uR. It took me awhile to understand and appreciate the relationship between shame and fear. I feel I see it in layers and every time i let go of some fear i feel a release of the shame as well.

Bug, I am so happy for you. Have you spoken to your boys about it yet or do you feel its still too early?

I like what you said:

When I say slow down, it's slow down and listen, realize that I don't know what he's thinking. I need to ask more questions, reflect more and never assume.

I think this is true for any relationship we are in. We do tend to assume SO MUCH. It really is quite amazing how much we can get in the way of ourselves with our assumptions.

TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home