Heather, thank you for the compliment. I consider you a strong woman despite the tremendously tough circumstances you are in. I am so pleased you gathered some strength from me. I have certainly needed to gather strength from the people here.
I am still trying to learn my lessons from this journey. For me, I had a little too much need for independence. The tendency to take care of others and be the "strong" person was my role and still is. But I have always wondered who was going to rescue me. I thought xSO would but I was wrong. I am trying to work on being a more open person but I have found that the people who have known me the longest don't want that from me. They want their rock.
Sometimes, I feel very alone.
Bea, when I asked about reconnecting, I was asking less about the physical means than (in my situation) are these texts that he is sending the beginning of attempting to reconnect or are the texts just volleys to see if I answer?
I have placed myself in some sort of strange limbo. I have not continued the text conversations past a reply or two and I have not initiated in a very long time. I have gotten used to the idea that we as a couple are done. But I cannot seem to cut that last tie. To sever contact either by not answering or texting back to buzz off.
I guess I was wondering whether or not I should keep the texts going a bit longer. But I don't want to do that if he is playing me. Because I no longer trust his motives, I am having a difficult time telling. And I am still so MAD at him.
This "do nothing" works for me. Which BTW was a good lesson to learn for me, a former Ms. Fix-it.
