Wow. Just finished catching up on this eye opening set of posts. I'll be truthful. I feel like I just went through a couple rounds with a prize fighter after the beating I have taken here.
Yes. I am still judging.
Yes. I still feel hurt and rejected and I don't understand her reactions.
Yes. I clearly need to try to understand MLC better.
No. I have no idea what is going on inside her and cannot seem to get there.
Yes. I do desire to make myself better and look at my own inadequacies.
Love. Real love. I don't know. I want to be there for her and support her while she is in this mess. During very lucid moments she has talked about not feeling like herself and not understanding what us going on.
The whole DB process of techniques reads like a laundry list of things to try to get a desired effect. Like I'm trying to "fix it for her."
Simple scenario: I am lost. The foundation if my family and my life has been shaken to the core. I am a fixer. I think most if us are. That's why we seek out resources like this to help us. I have identified some of my shortcomings with regard to my family and my marriage. I am working on those things. I have not satisfied her emotional needs for quite some time.
I am having the hardest time understanding how to provide the love and support that she needs to take her journey while also staying out if her way and not pursuing.
I'm ready Mach. I have thick skin
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
