2.25 Years, Moving Forward

[Underdog]

AD,

Something you said hit home here too:

I don't know about my 13yo. It feels like we are too far gone to ever get better.

I have a surrogate mom here in Colorado (since my real mom is back in VA) who separated from her H for a few years back when her kids were teenagers. (Her kids are the same age as I am.) She and her H (whom I LOVE) both went into therapy individually, though she had every intention of using that therapy to help her divorce him. After that long separation, she wasn't so convinced, and her H really wanted to work on their relationship. She made her H date her until she allowed him to move back in, while they continued in marriage counseling. Her kids were really pissed about it too. But she told them, "Your dad has done a lot of work, and I owe it to him to give him another shot. If he fails again, I'll boot his a$$ out." I think she said it took 9 months of dating before she allowed him to come home.

I have a few friends that separated for a long time or divorced and wound up reconciling. A handful on this BB too. So it can be done. But I honestly think it wouldn't be successful without some kind of counseling.

If that happens, you'll handle your S13 with dignity and grace. 'Cause that's the person you are.

Happy Halloween!

Betsey