WHEN PATIENCE IS LOST

[Ambivalent]

Magic, I see your point. I would take the above carefully with a separation. If and when together it is something to keep in the back of one's mind.

So H. called earlier and headed out earlier, his meeting was pushed to 2:00

He called twice before getting to the house. I was ready and lookin' fine. Snug dark denim, bright clear red semi-snug wool cowl neck sweater. Hair done, face on and CLEAR skin!

Hopped in car and we chatted the whole way to the hunting site , West of where I'm living. He was kind of pumped that I was excited to see where they're going to hunt. He smiled a lot, was chatty as well.

I had him explain and describe his new job and share what he's doing. The 17 acre property was beautiful, leaves turning and a spring fed creek running through . He was up and happy to describe everything around us, gave some history. We were tracking the paths of the deer, where they bed down, looking for scat. He and I were both excited to see the salt block was half gone! This is a great sign.

H. brought out pellets to spread around and I got to do it too! It was really fun doing this together, and I could tell he really liked that I was having fun! We hiked all over about an hour and then headed back to the car.

He was limited on time, but still took the time to drive around and show me some areas and share some stories. When heading home he said:

" If we get a deer , I'll take you to the butcher's, you'd love it . There are lots of HUGE deer and all the antlers..."

Then we chatted about weight lifting , what each of us are doing , the results, how to achieve different results. YAY! I even managed to compliment him without it being too obvious or sappy. I told him when I was using his arm to steady myself, I noticed how big and tight his bicep was! He grinned and smiled and proceeded enthusiastically to share more weight lifting tips.

As we were getting closer, he said he needed to change into office attire when we got to the house. I casually asked if he'd like me to make him a sandwich. He enthusiastically said I would LOVE that!

When we got to the house he thanked ME for coming to see the area. I said it was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed it.

While he was changing I started to make him his sandwich, asked what things he'd prefer, 180, . I also got some mini gerkins and placed them in a small baggie.

As I was handing them to him, he noticed the pickles and said :

" Oooo I even get some small gerkins ." With a smile of appreciation and a twinkle in his eyes. As he left I again told him that it was fun, and he said it WAS! He also added

I hope you have fun at school tonight!"

Okay YAY! Having a beginners mind and heart really helped me to keep a PMA. I touched him very casually and no recoiling , it was a very good day. I'm pleased because I proved to myself that I could do it. That we could do something that was free, and different, have fun, and not talk about anything stressful.

It showed husband that he could go somewhere with me, that didn't cost him a thing! Making him the sandwich, really put some points into his bucket, I could see it all over his face. He loved that I casually offered. I acted very non chalant and it proved to be un contrived .

I casually let him know what I was making for dinner tomorrow night. The roast, and said I should get it out of the freezer to make room for his new deer this year. That was my way of showing him confidence in his ability to bag one.

All in all , VERY pleased. If this were a first date I'd say it was successful. God gave me this opportunity, lead me to some passages in a couple of books , and gave me the strength to do this today.

God is giving me another opportunity tomorrow, I'm up for the challenge and will stay focused on keeping a very light attitude, and a smile on my face. Tomorrow will be the first evening where we'll be alone in the house after dark! Wow! This is new.

No expectations, leads to no disappointments! I'm just so pleased I get these opportunities before Thanksgiving to work on myself and practice practice practice my listening skills.