You'll think of me....

[RosaLinda]

Thanks guys! I decided to get a bit of back bone yesterday, with uR's help (the darned thing keeps deserting me, evaporating, and she has to keep giving me pep talks lol!). I put RT's salt and pepper shakers (blobby red and black figurines that hug each other bleeech) next to the pot H heats up that nasty oatmeal in every day. And he quietly took them away, to his room I assume. If he'd put them back on the dining room hutch, I would have taken a hammer to them like you DMR!

So my next hurdle was the slippers. They look like extremely ugly bile colored baby booties, and RT knit them with her own hands. I had a speech ready, but when H came down to the living room last night in them to watch TV, I was overcome with revulsion, and just looked at his feet in disgust without saying a word, and he turned around and went back up stairs. He showed up this morning in sneakers, but that might be because he needed to take the garbage out. He is SO crabby this morning. Oh well.

After he left, my courage deserted me, but uR kept the pep talks coming, and I'm ready. How stupid am I to be afraid to tell my own H not to wear slippers that his GF knit for him in the house?

His mom called to complain about her cell phone (she is 83 and so cute, texting everyone, then has trouble reading the screen ) and I told her about yelling at H when he called RT "honey" in front of me, and then telling RT that he does not work, cannot get her a green card, says he does not know what he wants to do because he loves me and our home and does not want to lose his family, etc. MIL was all excited and said it's about time I started sticking up for myself. I told her how vile RT was, and how H had described her to a "T." She said H is very confused, he will not want RT much longer, so hang in there, but she feels RT is not going to believe me or give up. She said RT has too much invested in H and is going to push until she gets her wedding ring, or she pushes him out of her life. I'm hoping for the second

FY, how were the worms? Mine are back in the can, I think. I'm going to let those suckers out one at a time and stomp on them.

Rose, do you really think RT is seething and confused? And TVS (how great to hear from you by the way ), she honestly did not look at all like the truth was ringing in her ears. She looked pretty self satisfied to me, just sat there smirking, and every time H contradicted something I said, she laughed, a really nasty snarky laugh. She did not look the least bit confused, more like convinced! A real arrogant, nasty, pushy bitch, just like H described her. Nero, I did feel a bit like I was trying to fight of a mad woman with a feather duster.

Heather, how great for your daughter to have taken a stand like that with your H! She's got a much stronger backbone at 19 than I do at 61!

CP, thanks for writing "in all honesty you can start putting your foot down on the things around the home that are bothering you that you don't have to tolerate any longer. Sometimes in order to be respected you need to stand up for what you believe in. And it is ok to do so." There's not a lot H does that bothers me, he is a kind MLCer compared to some of the rest of your spouses (Wonka calls him a kitty cat MLCer ) mostly just these two things right how. But it's a start, right? H also knows (if he remembers me telling him, that is always doubtful) that if he goes away with RT again, he is not welcome to return to our home.

So three boundaries for me, it's a start!