jp, it's hard but I am going to stop looking to him for little reassurances along the way. He is slowly opening up to me now after months of him distancing himself. This is a huge step for him. I need to count my blessings right now that things are moving forward.
He is actually showing me a lot of positive signs that he is opening up/warming up to me. For now I am letting him do all the pursuing. I guess I am doing the "aloof but available" thing. If he reaches out then I reach back. When we first started dating he was more of the "pursuer". I guess I will give the lead back to him again!
Labug, I definitely still have some abandonment fears as well. I feel I am not on solid ground. It is only recently that he has said he wants to work on the marriage, so I am a little wary right now. I almost just wrote that I am feeling the very cliche, "worrying that the changes won't last"!! Isn't that a WAS line? Oops.
I get small triggers here and there in our conversation where I start to feel antsy, worrying what he meant by something he said and worrying that he truly wants to work on things. He talked about getting his own key to his brother's apartment he is staying at. My heart started racing, like why does he need his own key all of the sudden? Is he planning on staying there forever?? Ah!
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
