The Big Chill

[Pudmuddle]

Today I woke up feeling...weird. I've been sleeping really good at night, like very soundly with no waking up in panic state or fear gripping me. It has been nice.

I also just feel very detached. I know this is a good thing, lol, but I am really able to look at H with new eyes.

Yesterday H sent me a text about some coaching charges I had on one our cc's. My first thought was oh great, something for him to argue with me about. I didn't respond as I was almost home from work, but then when I came in I saw him and said 'do you remember last time when we were talking about this cc, because I had charged something else on it, and I had told about this card charge coming up because you wanted to know if there were any more?" He of course, in fog city, didn't remember this convo. I kind of figured that, so I approached it as if he didn't know and as if he wouldn't be angry about it. Guess what? He just said"ok, that's completely fine, it just comes across on the bill with a vague description so I didn't know what it was".

So he didn't seem upset nor did he take this opportunity to ask again if we could separate the finances. I was kind of pleasantly surprised by this.

Then this morning when I let the dogs out, he came out of his room and was looking at me. Normally he doesn't come out of his room when I am doing this. I just said cheerfully 'Good morning!' and then I mentioned how our one older dog was being really funny this morning. H laughed and said 'of course he is because it's only 6 degrees outside, he saying brrr chilly!"

Again, me mildly surprised at his fun behavior.

He also poked his head up the stairwell and said bye have a nice day thing. I said 'Bye, you too...<H's name>. I kind of hesitated before I said his name so it sounded like I was going to ask him something further. But I wasn't. So I just waved again and said Bye.

Then this morning he just sent me a text Thanking me for doing some grocery shopping last night. And I don't even know what to say. Or how to respond or if I should. Sigh, I hate this cr@p.

I know I'm supposed to look at the positive things, but this is freakin' me out! I just feel wary that becuz he is in a good mood and treating me better that there is some other bomb headed my way. I feel so wary right now, it just feels WEIRD.

Thoughts anyone? talk me down, LOL.