Now that you aren't as interested as you once were......watch out. She will test you to see if she can spark a little bit.
You think it's all smoke and mirrors?
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Yeah I'm still here. Just doing my thing and seeing where I land.
I have been thinking about what you said about giving W some crumbs, what Sandi said about she is still plaing games and what sayitaintso said about not deciding anytime soon and seeing what unfolds.
W is different. We spoke on Monday about kids at the weekends. I didn't hold back in my opinion but she acted like a human being which was a nice change. I text her to ask how the kids were on Tuesday and if I could Skype on Wednesday, she told me how they had been. 10 mins later she sent me a pic of her bath. I resonded with a crumb of 'that looks relaxing' she sends stuff back like 'it's my sanctury :-)" which I don't respond to. During Skype the next day I was expecting her to be centre of a attention but it was all about the kids with hardly any interaction with W. After the skype she sent me multiple pics of us when we first met. If I'm honest it's nice but also pisses me off. After a few I said 'having a trip down memoey lane?' She sent me pics of the kids ready for halloween this morning.
I'm very aware of what is going on whatever that may be. As time goes by I start to think what I need from her for me to try again. No answers yet, not sure if there is any.
I'm still chatting with the other women online trying to set up dates. I don't feel like I'm in personal limbo just financial limbo.
I'd like to be the forum more but it doesn't feel like the right place for me right now. I will keep reporting back.
Thanks for checking up on me!
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Yeah I'm still here. Just doing my thing and seeing where I land.
Head up – feet down! You are doing fine!
Originally Posted By: T1000
I have been thinking about what you said about giving W some crumbs, what Sandi said about she is still plaing games and what sayitaintso said about not deciding anytime soon and seeing what unfolds.
Case is that I agree with Me but also with Sandi and SIAS and at the same time I do not see these as opposites – in fact I see them as working just fine together.
I still believe that you should carry on what you are doing! Live YOUR life but don’t shut the door totally towards W. Keep working you, be the greatest of fathers and keep on chatting / dating. Consider yourself a single and your W likewise.
If you feel attracted towards her – then, in time, get a date, but without deciding anything. Like you would properly do with any other woman. Do it without changing the life you live and that you seem to be so happy with for now. Sandi has been so right many times about your W and I think she is again. At the same time your W could change if you stay withdrawn this time. IMO you can do this even if you interact, talk and have good times. I believe this will come naturally to you now simply because of the place you are in. I would also throw her a crumb now and then. Stay 10 min when you interact, say a nice thing about her when you skype with children. The “That’s look relaxing” was great IMO.
In other words the texting, pictures, skype – her being nice could easily just be her trying to control you – so do not let her! Just be you and see where things take you from here.
Originally Posted By: T1000
As time goes by I start to think what I need from her for me to try again. No answers yet, not sure if there is any.
They will come to you - if needed!
Originally Posted By: T1000
I'd like to be the forum more but it doesn't feel like the right place for me right now. I will keep reporting back.
I think I understand – next level! I hope you will keep reporting – and do the FB!
Enjoy the day!
F
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
Case is that I agree with Me but also with Sandi and SIAS and at the same time I do not see these as opposites – in fact I see them as working just fine together.
Thanks F
I agree, at first they were completely different concepts but I can see where they interchange now. One protects me, one gives me hope and the other keeps me grounded.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
You got it Even though you are almost totally detached and in doubt if you would ever R with W, the fact is still, that we are on a divorcebusting path here! My point was not to give you hope – my point was to make you leave a little crack open and not completely dismiss any chance of R.
The way you put it, safe, grounded and hoping, is just fine, Don’t protect yourself so much that you can’t see what is happening through the walls. Don’t ground yourself so much that you forget to live Don’t hope so much that you get disappointed
Just do exactly what you do and don’t make any unalterable decisions for now Live the life you want and see what the future brings you.
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
T, I know you've been through a really crazy roller coaster with your W, but the upside is that at least she is showing interest in you. It's been over 16 months since BD for me and I get zero interest from my W, if she said something like your W did I think I'd have trouble doing anything than standing there with mouth gaping open. It sounds like you're taking the right approach, but just a quick reminder, let her do all the pursuing. Maintain your distance. Work out your boundaries if you haven't already and if you decide to tell her you're willing to work on things, then present the boundaries to her and make it clear what the ramifications are if she breaks the boundaries. You've done all the hard work, now it's her turn.
