If indeed you think your wife has had a PA. Then im sorry for the feelings you must have to be dealing with. It sure feels like a hard kick to the abdomen.
Why did her previous marriage end? Is this what you know or what you've been told?
What are some of your major changes? By getting "involved" with anyone else, did u mean your wife, or dating?
Do you think going dark at this point can hurt? Do you think she'd miss you? or because of what you think was a limited time together is really going to work further against you at this point with the recent revelation of a "PA"?
I might be wrong, but maybe its time to just take care of you for a little while, do you think you've been so dependent on reaction that its paralyzed some of the changes you needed to make for yourself? You've been pretty steady with the contact, do you think trying something different would be in order?
What makes this situation different for you in regards to w1 cheating but not this one? Why aren't you done this time?
2ta, please slow it all down in your head. Set some small attainable goals for now, build slowly. Know that your not gonna be hitting your stride for a little while. Don't feel like you've let yourself down by not doing enough. I think you've been incredible, you just need to give it all some time.
Eat, sleep, and take care of yourself. Time to pick up a new hobby I think. I want you to do an internet search for cooking classes in your area, and I want you to take one. It can be a one time class that last 2-3 hours or it can be a one hour class for a couple/few weeks. But do something completely different this time. If you want some major changes, start with something that's major different. You need to break the routine. If you don't want to do cooking, do something you don't think you'd ever have considered doing before? A ballroom dance class?
Hang in there! make a list of your changes and get to work.
