All the best to you GTO... You have a GREAT PMA & an obvious desire to "LIVE LIFE"... Go for it!!
Magic
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
I am hoping to get there soon.(peace and moving on) Your words help. Thank you
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
I agree with everyone else: you DO sound great/balanced/at peace. I love the confidence pouring out of your post!
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
BUt, I do know I'm not waiting around to see how their lives play out while mine is stalled...I am ready for love again.
It is interesting how empty your love tank becomes over time and how your heart really longs for the happiness it is missing. BUt, that you start to realize that your happiness is NOT dependent on your S. Never really was, but because your lives were so entwined you lose a part of who you were..
Then you come here..you go through all the various stages of grief over and over and over... and the people here support you, and give you opinions and 2x4's when needed and scoop you off the pavement when you think you can't even breathe...
Then you get up and you move forward..each day..it gets easier and better...then months past...then a year... then more...
And then you find yourself in this new place and you realize you are going to be okay,,,, in fact you are going to be better than okay...
You have this whole new life waiting for you...and you've found yourself again along the way..
...and you realize that YOU are the ONLY thing that you control...and that your happiness is directly related to how you relate to others and how you perceive yourself and the world around you..
...and then you've arrived onto a new road that is brighter and has unlimited happiness in its path..)
^^^Well said GTO!!! LOVE the post! YOU clearly know what you want. I'm sorry to hear about the D but life goes on and you deserve better, well we all do!
Good luck GTO!
Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
I was never worried about you GTO, NEVER. You've been in touch with yourself since the first post I read. Sure there were those "days", we all have/had them.
You sound so grounded, so in the now! Your husband is one of those people that cant be happy with what he had/has, it has to be about what he doesn't have. He'll find out, but it will be his loss not yours.
I hope you find a really good mate, cause your not reaching here, your ready. Its not a rebound, its moving on. Such a huge difference in the thinking.
OMG!! I came on here tonight and was OVERWHELMED by all the positive responses to my post! So, thank you to all of you!!
Your support here has meant more to me than I can tell you! Way more. Without this place, without all of you I would not have made it the place in my journey I am in right now!
I do have a new situation that arose today that I need some advice on... My H texted me today (just so you know we haven't filed but are going into mediation next week) and said we need to talk about the holidays.
I got all tense because I didn't know what he was alluding to exactly. But then he texted me later that his sister (his ONLY sibling who we have ALWAYS had THanksgiving with) was wondering about the holidays--- she didn't want "ackwardness or tension" at her house at the holidays. I can understand that...didn't really think this through at all yet.
So, my H texted me that he wanted me to go to her house for THanksgiving with the boys. I was shocked he offered this. His sister and his dad are his only family. He said he did NOT have other plans & that's not why he was offering...he said he didn't want me to be alone.
I don't have any family nearby either. But, I would feel strange being there knowing that he is not and would wonder how his dad and sister would feel that I came instead of him.
They live too far away for both of us to visit at different times in the day, so that really isn't an option.
Any advice? And, then there's Christmas around the corner too. We just fumbled our way through both holidays last year for the sake of the boys but this year is different... I dont know about faking what is no longer real,,, even for the benefit of the kids.
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
I understand how you might be slightly uncomfortable with the situation. But in all honesty, I would do it for the kids. Its still their family, you'll always be tied to them because of that relationship. There is no reason you all cant get along.
If theres anything you can do for the kids, keep this routine as long as you can for their sake. Family is family, help them understand that even thou things arent working out for you and hubby. They will still be a part of their lives.
